Nov 08

Amaze her with your hot rod

Can of SPAM, Cardinal Sin, Doodling, Fishbait, Internet Marketing, Milking horny guys, Mind over Pixels, Social abuse, Techniques, Virtual War, WebWriMo challenge 7 Comments »

That is the title from a spam email I got today.

See how intelligently it passes through spam filters, all the while remaining intelligible and eye catching? There are no spam words to raise red flags, and the word “Amaze” is a power word. So is “hot”, because it triggers an emotional reaction.

Power words are words like “Sex”, “Money”, “Rich”, “Happy”, “Buy”, “Bargain”, “Order now”, “Passion” and a bunch of others. Actually, if you write down the keyword cloud of a few telemarketing ads you will instantly have a list of power words that really work.

I have said it before, and I will say it again:

Study the porn biz. These guys are waaay ahead of the curve.

Another place where you can really learn a lot is from spammers. Spammers, like anyone running a ppc ad campaign, get one chance only to grab the reader’s attention. Win = profit, fail = loss. 

The spammers also have the spam filters to consider on top of the marketing pitch. You may not care how to write catchy titles that grab attention AND pass spam inspection at the same time, but if you study those guys, you will learn how to think differently. Slightly shady said it very nicely.

You either fool the bot(or the person submitting the spam report) or you fool the person reviewing your site.

Simply put, PPCers have to fool the human. Spammers have to fool both machine and human. Conclusion: the latter have bigger balls.

So, what can we learn from this?

As always, zap your brain with so much data that it oveloads, and think on the stuff you read. Gather a bunch of spam mails, and write down the titles. Glance casually over them and see which ones grab your attention, and try to find out how they did it. It is usually a single power word that does the trick!

Disclaimer for idiots: Power words are bolded in the list below.

  • Girls mock at your size? (Very good)
  • Barak Obama shot in White House (Yes, power words can be names, and recent words, like terrorism)
  • Instantly boost your website’s traffic (As good as it gets)
  • How would you like to put your ad right to the screens of millions in minutes? (This one FAILS miserably. Why?)
  • Incredible News (This kind of power word as a marketing concept was invented at the time Marvel made their first comic. It is no wonder they used “The Fantastic Four”, “The Amazing Spiderman” etc. This is Seth Godin’s method of integrating marketing inside the product itself. Or in this case, in its name. Learn from this or fail.)
  • Post your ads where people read them! (No power, no naked showers. See how I made my point using a power word?)
  • Beating the high cost (Not powerful enough. Passive is for gays.)
  • Get all or nothing (Not that good, does not give any amount of info)
  • Great bargains here (Oldie but goodie)
  • Unbelievable sale (So is this one. Marvel.)
  • YOUR EMAIL ID HAVE WON (As stupid as it may seem, this one works)
  • Amazing increasing system (Medium, might work but has no info. Marvel.)
  • What Britney hides? (Pop means popular)
  • you’ll get 1000’s of Highly Targeted visitors to your web site or affiliate web site overnight (FAIL again)
  • Better ways to please her (Medium)
  • Never be soft again (Good one. Absoluteness is key. NEVAH!)
  • Male probs are dangerous (“You are in Danger!” doesn’t that work better? Fail.)
  • Big saving for your family (Emotional trigger word)
  • Fail too fast in bed? (It works, that is why I use it too :) )
  • Small size isnt a crime! (Mushy. Too passive. Could be better.)
  • Feed Blaster puts your ad right to the screens of millions in 15 minutes! (FAIL)
  • Quit Your Day Job Within 30 Days (Would rewrite it “within” to “in”. This is not a contract, you are trying to catch clicks here. As I said, be absolute. What the fuck spammer? Man up!)
  • How would you like unlimited hits to your website 15 minutes from now ? (FAIL…At this point, I hope you know why.)
  • Do you suck? (EPIC. Truly. Epic. Pure awesomeness.)

Some douchebag might ask me how I would write the ones I tagged as failed. So here it is:

“GET A GAZILLION HITS NOW!”

Gives no info at all, but it sure makes people click. I dare you not to click that link. Just try to resist the temptation. Is it a dick roll? Is it a java game? A sales pitch? A porn pic? Who knows…

I sincerely hope some people’s minds get a slight nudge in the right direction from this. For actual business mailing, go to Wickedfire’s mailing forum, and snoop around.

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written by Glowleaf \\ tags: , , , , ,

Nov 02

Finally an actual use for Spydermate!

Can of SPAM, Cardinal Sin, Doodling, Feed the Spiders, Heavy construction, Inorganic agriculture, Internet Marketing, Mind over Pixels, RGBhat, Techniques, Unreal Estate, Virtual War, WebWriMo challenge No Comments »

I remembered an old technique that I have learned a while ago. This one is so simple, you will slap yourself when you read it.

I do not claim to have invented it, but I cannot find the thread that I learned about it…

Here it is. In tight SEO fights, the ones where you have every fucking relevant link on the planet, and the ranks go up and down every day, you just need that little bit of edge to take over the competition. Well, here is a sly technique.

In summary, you pay for links from your competitor’s website.

Fire up spydermate the seo site crawler, register if you haven’t already done so, and crawl one by one your competitors sites. This will take a while, you just need them indexed. Go for the top 20. A few hours later, when you have stats for all of them, go to the history tab, and check out the broken links report in everyone of them.

Check out the link equity of the page, its pr, the broken link’s anchor text etc. You goal is to find old abandoned high PR pages, with plenty of incoming links, and preferably with some decent anchor text. Most big sites have abandoned pages, with lots of broken links pointing to some other website. Find those outgoing broken links that carry plenty of link juice, and point to abandoned domains. 

Snatch the abandoned domains!

Go to waybackmachine and find out how the linked site looked, copy it, set it up at the linked domain, fix the broken images etc, and link back to your main site. Using those crappy freehost’s that come with new domains is amazing here, because you get a new IP link as well.

There is no step by step guide on this technique, use your fucking brain. Use your experience to evaluate the worth of the broken link, the spyder is there just to point it out, and help you pick up the best ones with link equity.

The technique is very simple, yet effective. An indirect link from your competitor can sometimes mean the outcome of the fight. Did I mention you can also make them link to banned domains? No? Huh, I thought I had…

Also, you may not find any broken links pointing to dropped domains, even when you expand the search to top 30. If that is the case, then your niche sucks and you are a poser.

For example, a quick search on my top 20, showed me two authority websites, having 78 and 133 broken links, with 4 dropped domains for the first and 3 for the second. And the first has good anchor text. Just try it folks.

You may also find links pointing to blogspot accounts etc. Try to snatch those as well.

Because I am sneaky, I prefer to make the linked page same as the old one, and link 2 good keywords to my main page. That way, it passes a casual inspection. Others might prefer just buying the domain and redirecting it to their site, to pass 100% linkjuice. Whatever you want, I just rather have a long term benefit. It depends on the niche too…

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written by Glowleaf \\ tags: , , , ,

Oct 11

Find out where she is 007-style

Cardinal Sin No Comments »

Weee! Rotating Gifs, a thing of the past.

But, the fat usb stick you see above is a thing of the future.

This chubby beauty is a GPS locator (Global Positioning System), accurate within 2,5 meters. Once you switch it on, it triangulates positioning data by itself, recording them.

Then, you simply hook it into a USB port, and check the route it travelled in a text report, or, even cooler, on Google Earth. It even comes equipped with a powerful magnet (the silver metal on its side), which grabs tight onto the fender of… oh, lets say, your spouse’s car?

The GPS Tracking key may be too fat for a usb stick, but its small when compared to anything else, allowing you to conceal it practically anywhere.

The data it logs are:

  • Route Traveled
  • Velocity
  • Direction/Orientation
  • Duration of device remains stationary
  • Arrival addresses
  • Time en route

It basically gives you a complete view of what, where and when of the “mark”. The data it provides are so precise, that they even stand up as evidence in court. (You need to check your country’s laws on the legality of the matter though)

Coupled with great manufacturing specifications, quality build, waterproof casing and the guarantee of LandAirSea surveillance systems, you have a military-grade toy delivered at your doorstep worldwide.

It is powered by 2 AAA batteries, maintaining its discreet character and lightness.

The GPS Tracking key can be ordered from many online retailers, and costs little more than 200$.

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written by Glowleaf \\ tags: , ,

Oct 09

Burn the parking lot

Blogs, Can of SPAM, Cardinal Sin, Doodling, Feed the Spiders, Fire and Forget, Heavy construction, Inorganic agriculture, Mind over Pixels, Moniez, Parking space, Techniques 2 Comments »

I discovered a stupidly simple but effective way to increase your revenue from parked domains.

Anyone with a large enough domain portfolio, will own some dead domains, unsellable and with little to no traffic.

Well, what you can do is this:

  • Set up a splog on that domain. WP of course.
  • Use feedwordpress to fetch feeds related to the keywords your domain is about.
  • Put it on quick burn mode, i.e. scrape every 10 mins from multiple feeds.
  • Put up a cpm ad. Why not?
  • Let it run 2-3 weeks, until pages get indexed etc.
  • Switch the domain to the parking service.
  • Do a crop rotation every 2 months.

Simple as that. The best part is that you don’t violate the company’s TOS. See? I’am a good boy for a change.

Also, you don’t need to delete anything from the hosting, just switch the dns, get parking revenue, and then switch the dns back to the hosting.

You will need a catchall parking service like namedrive for this to work.

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written by Glowleaf \\ tags: , , ,

Sep 27

Anarchy Online

Can of SPAM, Cardinal Sin, Doodling, Internet Marketing, Mind over Pixels, Moniez, Social abuse, Virtual War 6 Comments »

anarchy online

I have been coaching a friend who wants to get into affiliate marketing for a few months. Apart from the expected “how do I…” questions, another one pops up every once in a while.

“Am I allowed to do this?”

And my answer is always: “Yes, of course you can“.

The internet has grown so powerful so soon, that the international law systems cannot possibly keep up, often forcing them to extreme measures like convicting spammers the same as rapists. 

Can you imagine yourself, a skinny, sun-deprived computer geek inside a jail full of murderers and rapists with tatoos?

Scary guy: “Hey, you, fish! What did you do to end up here?”

You: “Oh, I spammed Myspace…”

The inneficiency of the legal systems to keep up with the internet pace is so apparent, that we even had a course on that subject in the university. The laws regarding the internet are mostly rubbish, idiotic, over-reactive, and anticonstitutional.

I mean, come on, Youtube censorship for Turkey? Because some folks uploaded videos that the dictator did not like? I understand why a private company would comply to a country’s requests, but they shouldn’t. Laws protect everyone, and there should be international laws against censorship by anyone, even by a country of 60 million. Youtube should be allowed to say “Fuck off, we can show whatever we like” and lift the ban backed up by international laws.

The world wide web is a place of anarchy, and that is what makes all the power-holders in the world afraid of. Since they cannot control it, they try to change that. But:

As long as it does not lead you to jail, you can do whatever you want

Terms of service are not laws. They are house rules. You are not forced by anyone to follow them.

  • Adsense does not allow you to pair them with other contextual ads, but I have seen many sites with both adsense and adbrite. Their defense is: oh, adbrite is not contextual. Bullshit. Adbrite simply has a better model, allowing you to put your own keywords instead of letting a dumb bot pick up totally unrelated keywords from your page.
  • You cannot put adsense on porn/poker sites, unless you are big enough. You cannot put adsense on no content sites, unless you are a parking company with a 100.000 domain portfolio.
  • Digital point forums allow you to have only one account. They ban you if you post “Pm sent”.
  • Sphinn bans your domain due to a misunderstanding, and their email reply is “Oh, we know, but the script we use does not let us unban you. Sorry.” Really? I know 12 year olds who can remove the entry from the database…
  • Ebay bans you for cookie stuffing, while they charge 30$ listing fees even if your item does not sell. Who is the thief here? They bully their own rules simply because they became big, screwing the same people that made them what they are. (and no, cookie stuffing is not bad. If you believe that it is, go tatoo the word “sucker” on your forehead)
  • Merchants ban affiliates for cookie stuffing, where at the same time there are other methods of tracking without cookies, but noone uses them!
  • You cannot bid on competitor keywords in ppc. Since when? Do you know what competition means? Go tell a TV advertiser that he cannot outbid a competitor on prime time tv ad spot, he will laugh in your face.
  • Competitors nag you for registering their misstypes, threatening with “legal action“. Oh deer friedns, i kan mistype all I watn. If u dotn liek it, go regitser them domaisn urselves.
  • You cannot say “free” and charge people 8 euro per month for ringtones. But, supermarkets can have products paired with “free” gifts, included in the price. Credit cards can say 0% interest and charge 24%.
And the biggest crazy thing of them all:
  • You let a computer decide what site is better for a human.

Am I the only one that sees how irrational all that is?

You can do whatever the fuck you want, as long as it’s not illegal. And you need to understand the distinction between “against a company’s stupid TOS”, and “LAW”.

  • Want to buy links? Buy them. So what if Google says that it is bad?
  • Want to spam fora? Spam them. They should get better spam protection anyway.
  • Want to 302 hijack a page? Hijack it. If your competition does not like it, tell them to email a complaint to the guys who created internet protocols.
  • Want to create your own little corner of the internet, full of interlinked sites and a barrage of splogs? Do it. Ignore all those who say that its bad. They are idiots anyway.

There are no “SEO best practices”. It is just a fancy way of saying “comply with their rules”. I am going to make a shoking statement here:

You don’t really need Google to succeed online.

There, I said it. This blog gets 300 uniques/day, and only 4% is search engine traffic. And, risking to appear as showing off, but in reality I am not, I didn’t even try that hard to promote this blog. Sure, its nothing compared to what traffic big sites get, but its still better than the other 90% blogs in the niche.

Good guys get a kiss on the cheek, badass guys go home and fuck the prom queen. Why do you think its any different online?

Abuse whatever system you can find. Lie to make that sale. Undermine your competition. Be successful.

Lets close this post by making a sick and twisted version of a boyscout’s motto:

Break a rule every day.

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written by Glowleaf \\ tags: , , ,

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