Dec 15
Buying stuff for an affiliate can be real hard. Here is a small list of ideas for presents towards affiliates:
- An iPhone, with the background pic saying: “I won this at those internet contest thingies”.
- John Chow and Shoemoney memorabilia. The more breakable the merrier.
- The Nicky Cakes Viking horns. He will wear them all day.
- A fleshlight, with a little card saying: “the ads said it feels like the real thing”.
- An acai bottle with a message “Use after you eat your ass out during holidays”. As soon as he opens it show him a smaller colon cleanser bottle.
- A teeth whitener and a handmirror.
- A t-shirt from cafepress (order through his aff link) that reads: “I am the one sending you all that spam”.
- A poster with a gym guy’s 6 pack, with  ”this could be you in just 8 weeks” written over them.
- A cease and desist letter. It doesn’t matter what it really says, the affiliate will scream dramatically and enter a catatonic state at the mere sight of it.
- The I-didnt-know-what-to-buy-you-so-I-got-this-for-you.info domain. He should appreciate the gesture.
- A ringtone. Steal his cell when he goes into the bathroom, submit his number on an IQ test and confirm the SMS.
- This tshirt. Trust me.
- A link. An expensive, high keyword value link.
- A comment on his flog.
- A hired Indian to linkbuild for him for 6 months.
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