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Nov 12

 

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No, this is not a fake pic. And it has nothing to do with 9/11. It is a real advertisement, an old one, presenting the Pakistani airlines ability to fly you to NY in 16h 30.

I put it here so I can prove to you how powerful an emotional responce can get, and how important symbols are in marketing.

Some things never change. The basic needs for a man, of food, sleep, sex and shelter are all hardwired since the dawn of the human race.

And there has always been a strange breed of humans, that studied their fellow people, and tried to manipulate them into buying or trading.

The basic stuff does not change. Whatever techniques marketers used 200 years ago still apply today. Only the products and the tools change, not the methodology.

So, lets examine some classic tricks marketers used for centuries, and see what tricks we can learn from these old advertisements.

Plants

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Do you remember Doc from the classic Lucky Luke cartoon? Sure, this is a kid’s movie, but the character is a mockery of real shady marketers of the times.

What Doc did was to create a miraculous hair growth potion. He scoured the Wild West looking for people to buy his stuff. If I remember correctly, the potion was plain water. He had an assosiate, posing as a regular bystander. After his sales pitch, he would call upon a volunteer to come to the stage, and show the miraculous effects of the hair growth potion. The plant would go behind the scenes and wear a big wig, and people believed that the potion was amazing. So they bought it.

Ok, people are not that stupid anymore. Or are they? Hmm…. Acai Berry *cough*.

The lesson here is to show the effects of your product to people, and if it is possible, to show a “regular” person using it, and of course being left satisfied by it. Then the mob mentality kicks in, and everyone buys it.

Desires

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See the expression on those faces? It is so far stretched it does not even seem real. The point is not to make it real, but to transfer an emotion to the viewer. A face expressing desire instantly has a mimical effect on the customer. The appropriate sections in his brain fire, and endorphins are pumped into his bloodstream.

If you can create such a strong emotional responce, the world is your playground.

Laconic

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It doesn’t get more straightforward than this. Absoluteness “Best you ever ate”, price is up there, image to show what it is like, and “Hot soup” to describe the product.

Eye catching titles

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Do you think linkbait is something new? Check out these titles. Especially the “Drop Dead” one… Pure fucking genius.

Emotional hammering

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The first one is not that old, but it has a very powerful message. Note that it is delivered in “Sin City” style. White, black and red.

“To be killed in action” and shows a baby. No parent can ignore this ad.

“Feeling Blue?” catchy tagline, and the classic before and after trick. We don’t make ads like this anymore, but they work. Note the smile in the last picture. The marketer is trying to intertwine that image with the memory of the product. If I were to make that ad, I would put the bottom 2 pictures the other way around, to preserve the antithesis structure. Ivory Soap, it floats!

“Cough, you chump”. It’s your own fault, you didn’t use listerine. You all know how big that brand is now. Note the bullshit scientific data “66% reduction shown in tests”.

“Be first in your gang/ Leaders go for Dinky toys”. This one targets the alpha males, and the beta who are wannabe alpha’s. Always worked, and always will.

“Their hero arrives on the next bus”. Powerful emotional message targeted to father figures. I believe the advice to wives part should be omitted. This is a pathetic attempt at reaching the whole of the audience with a single ad. Wrong. The idea is good, but needs to be separated. This is a man’s ad.

Died and buried

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Indeed, the day has come. All beer cans open easily now. But no one knows Schlitz beer. I am sure this is due to the stupid name. This is a classic example of good ideas but no marketing skills.

Authority recommendation

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Most of the times this is used, the authority person has nothing to do with the product. It does not matter, the more well known that person is, the more sales this ad brings. Michael Jordan advertised half the US products, and of course he had nothing to do with any of them. Except maybe Nike Air Jordan.

Scientific Bullshitting

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The first comes from the era when cigarettes were starting to prove bad for your health. It is nicely pictured in the movie “Thank you for smoking”. This marketer tries to convince customers that their smokes are less smoky than the others. The cigarette companies had managed to bullshit their way with bought scientific data through years of denial.

Yes, this is a real Max Factor ad. Makes you think how stupid today’s products will seem in the future. Scientific bullshiting at its finest.

Sexual Innuendo

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This has been used for sooo long. It works, that is the reason. Coca Cola and many alcoholic drinks have used this technique, of putting sexual images inside their ads. Even straightforward sexual messages work. You can be subtle or straight ass dirty, like the last one. Which, by the way, is not that old, but nevermind that.

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written by Glowleaf \\ tags: , ,

Nov 08

That is the title from a spam email I got today.

See how intelligently it passes through spam filters, all the while remaining intelligible and eye catching? There are no spam words to raise red flags, and the word “Amaze” is a power word. So is “hot”, because it triggers an emotional reaction.

Power words are words like “Sex”, “Money”, “Rich”, “Happy”, “Buy”, “Bargain”, “Order now”, “Passion” and a bunch of others. Actually, if you write down the keyword cloud of a few telemarketing ads you will instantly have a list of power words that really work.

I have said it before, and I will say it again:

Study the porn biz. These guys are waaay ahead of the curve.

Another place where you can really learn a lot is from spammers. Spammers, like anyone running a ppc ad campaign, get one chance only to grab the reader’s attention. Win = profit, fail = loss. 

The spammers also have the spam filters to consider on top of the marketing pitch. You may not care how to write catchy titles that grab attention AND pass spam inspection at the same time, but if you study those guys, you will learn how to think differently. Slightly shady said it very nicely.

You either fool the bot(or the person submitting the spam report) or you fool the person reviewing your site.

Simply put, PPCers have to fool the human. Spammers have to fool both machine and human. Conclusion: the latter have bigger balls.

So, what can we learn from this?

As always, zap your brain with so much data that it oveloads, and think on the stuff you read. Gather a bunch of spam mails, and write down the titles. Glance casually over them and see which ones grab your attention, and try to find out how they did it. It is usually a single power word that does the trick!

Disclaimer for idiots: Power words are bolded in the list below.

  • Girls mock at your size? (Very good)
  • Barak Obama shot in White House (Yes, power words can be names, and recent words, like terrorism)
  • Instantly boost your website’s traffic (As good as it gets)
  • How would you like to put your ad right to the screens of millions in minutes? (This one FAILS miserably. Why?)
  • Incredible News (This kind of power word as a marketing concept was invented at the time Marvel made their first comic. It is no wonder they used “The Fantastic Four”, “The Amazing Spiderman” etc. This is Seth Godin’s method of integrating marketing inside the product itself. Or in this case, in its name. Learn from this or fail.)
  • Post your ads where people read them! (No power, no naked showers. See how I made my point using a power word?)
  • Beating the high cost (Not powerful enough. Passive is for gays.)
  • Get all or nothing (Not that good, does not give any amount of info)
  • Great bargains here (Oldie but goodie)
  • Unbelievable sale (So is this one. Marvel.)
  • YOUR EMAIL ID HAVE WON (As stupid as it may seem, this one works)
  • Amazing increasing system (Medium, might work but has no info. Marvel.)
  • What Britney hides? (Pop means popular)
  • you’ll get 1000’s of Highly Targeted visitors to your web site or affiliate web site overnight (FAIL again)
  • Better ways to please her (Medium)
  • Never be soft again (Good one. Absoluteness is key. NEVAH!)
  • Male probs are dangerous (“You are in Danger!” doesn’t that work better? Fail.)
  • Big saving for your family (Emotional trigger word)
  • Fail too fast in bed? (It works, that is why I use it too :) )
  • Small size isnt a crime! (Mushy. Too passive. Could be better.)
  • Feed Blaster puts your ad right to the screens of millions in 15 minutes! (FAIL)
  • Quit Your Day Job Within 30 Days (Would rewrite it “within” to “in”. This is not a contract, you are trying to catch clicks here. As I said, be absolute. What the fuck spammer? Man up!)
  • How would you like unlimited hits to your website 15 minutes from now ? (FAIL…At this point, I hope you know why.)
  • Do you suck? (EPIC. Truly. Epic. Pure awesomeness.)

Some douchebag might ask me how I would write the ones I tagged as failed. So here it is:

GET A GAZILLION HITS NOW!

Gives no info at all, but it sure makes people click. I dare you not to click that link. Just try to resist the temptation. Is it a dick roll? Is it a java game? A sales pitch? A porn pic? Who knows…

I sincerely hope some people’s minds get a slight nudge in the right direction from this. For actual business mailing, go to Wickedfire’s mailing forum, and snoop around.

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written by Glowleaf \\ tags: , , , , ,

Sep 16

…and so are the businesses they create. Or their products. Or their books. Or their blogs.

The masses are exactly that, massive. You cannot create something that appeals to everyone. Actually you can, but it will be boring. Boring does not sell.

Rock and Roll did not appeal to everyone, it appealed to the troubled sexually supressed youth of the times. Apple products are not for minimum wage people (which consist the majority of the population). Designer clothes are for multimillionare’s women and supermodels or hollywood stars. They are not that many… I bet you could fill a theater with all of them.

Take a step back, and look at your product, or service, or website from a distance. Does it look convincing? Does it look professional? Does it convey the right message, the one you are trying to send?

Does it even look interesting?

No matter how excited and passionate you are about your product or website, I am sure that people do not share your feelings. If people tell you “Yeah, well, it’s like that website” and you protest “No, mine has this difference! It’s not the same” then you need to rethink a lot of stuff.

I am going to use Godin’s term here: Try to make your product remarkable.

You want examples?

  • T-shirt hell. They are amazing. They insult everyone they can find, and that only makes them more popular, and with a more devoted audience. They got press coverage, famous people wearing their tshirts, and playboy babes photoshooting with some of the dirty ones.
  • Facebook. Yes, facebook. Streamlined design (at least until they integrated those disgusting widgets), viral features, solid website. They simply made the best social website, and that is truly remarkable. This one is an exception, because it is for everyone, but it does that amazingly well.
  • Wickedfire. A forum for webmasters, SEOs, affiliates and grayscalehatters. What makes it remarkable is the pissed off feel inside, the endless vulgarity, the ebook hatred, and the boobs icon sanctity. No, its not for everyone, and that is exactly what makes it so great.
  • Cambridge University. You did not expect that one. They have the largest rejection rates. Why? Because they believe they are the best, and they cut off all the slackers mercilessly. What does that give them? The title of “the best university”. And people spend years of their lives, and huge amounts of money just to get in there.

I could go on, but you get the picture. Do some serious self critisizing here, ask yourself “why the hell is my product any different than the other shit on the pile?”

If it’s not exceptional at anything, then why should someone buy it? Here is a list, if you can’t place your product in one of the spots, then change it and put it in there.

My product/service/website is:

  • the most informative
  • the most laconic
  • the most annoying
  • the most advanced
  • the most noob friendly
  • the most expensive
  • the cheapest
  • the easiest to use
  • the hardest to use
  • the most serious
  • the most comical
  • the most well known
  • the easiest to get into
  • the hardest to get into
  • the prettiest
  • the ugliest
  • the oldest
  • the newest
You must not appeal to everyone. If you do, you shift to the average, and average is dull.
Forget the norm, touch the extremes.

Many web hosting services are offering basic web layout plans in addition to dedicated servers. For people who don’t know much about computers, these offers by netfirms are indeed great.

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written by Glowleaf \\ tags: , ,

Sep 12

Digerati Marketing is one of those seo blogs I like, and which are never updated :)

Anyway, this guy coded and published a program, called autostumble.

What it does, is that you simply remain logged in to stumble, and you have the program running in the background. The program coordinates all the clients, to stumble each other’s pages automatically.

Cute, fast, and brilliant.

But he killed the idea. How? By charging for it.

Sure, 10$-15$ are nothing, of course. But it kills the viral growth of the program. And due to the network effect, the program practically lives off its viral growth.

The network value of a product/service is equal to the number of clients to the power of 2. Meaning, 2 clients consist a value of 4 network, 4 clients consist a value of 16 network.

Its like fax, email, cellphones and instant messengers. If noone has it, its worthless. If many people have it, the value of the network grows exponentially, and after it hits a certain critical mass, no one can believe how they used to live without it. It’s hard to make it grow at first, and the growth is small. But after the critical mass is achieved, you got an unstoppable explosion engulfing everything around it.

For real machines or products, its hard to give it away for free, unless you are Sony or Nike. But for intangibles, like a software, its dumb not to give it away for free.

Do you believe ICQ or Messenger or Skype would ever gather the critical mass required to break the barriers of their network value, by not being free?

Don’t sweat on it, the answer is a big fat NO.

By charging for a service or product, that depends on its network value, even if its a trivial amount of money, you kill it right from the start. You are better off not starting the project alltogether.

“But how will I make money off it? I paid for development! I spent months on it! I paid for marketing!”

You can always find a way to make money out of something popular. ALWAYS. But work on making it popular first, then monetize it.

To stay on our example, a quick, dirty and fucking easy way to monetize the autostumble product is to make an image gallery (one that is already tried and appeals to the stumble audience) and put up a pay per impression banner. Then just add every page of that gallery to the autostumble queue, and voila, here is your money. No charges for the users, no obstacles for the virus to stumble on (pun intended), and the creator has some money on autopilot.

But nooooo, you just have to charge even a small amount of cash for it. Go ahead, kill the virus. Fail miserably. Who cares.

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written by Glowleaf \\ tags: , ,

Sep 04

Ebooks, Gubercamps, “tried and proven” methods of making money online.

Self proclaimed Gurus, affiliates selling the dream through their blogs.

Tools that instantly give you a million backlinks for only 9.99$

Websites for only 350$, that will make you 6 figures a year.

A horde of noobs and desperate guys and girls online.

All that, briefly sums up the “online money making” world. Don’t be an idiot, no one will sell you the money making secret for 7$ in an ebook.

And no, affiliate marketing is not “easy money”. It never is, until you truly master it. Hell yes, after that, it really looks like easy money. But there is a gaping chasm in between, and the majority of wannabe affiliates never even get close to crossing it.

There are a million ways to make money online. And don’t get me wrong, you really can make money from the internet. It can become some extra spending money, pay the bills, buy you a new car, or a new house.

But its not easy.

I am a computer engineer, I practically live with computers, and it took me one year to start something profitable. If you are not that good with computers, get ready to do some real studying, because you will be in deep shit.

I am not saying that you need a master in computers to make some money, you can handle the marketing for example, and outsource everything technical. It could work, I don’t see why not.

Hell, yes, the internet is so vast and chaotic, that anything could work in it. Throw your wildest product at it, and it will spit back some buyers.

Internet also redefines the 9/10 rule of startups. For every 10 startups, 9 fail for one reason or another.

But the starting cost of creating a new website is usually so small, that it is possible for you to try 100 websites, not 10.
This allows anyone to try, with a lesser risk, a lesser cost, and a larger chance of success.

Apparently you want to be that someone. That is great. Go ahead and try.

See what works, what doesn’t. Read read read, learn learn learn. Discuss techniques, tools, products, strategies with other affiliates. Try and fail, and try again.

But don’t fall for those promising you quick cash, easy money, retirement at 25. Affiliate marketing is easy when you have reached a certain level, not when you begin. At first, you will have to try hard, and invest money and time.

There is the added risk of failure, this is not the office, where you get paid every day, whether you do work or not. Here, you work, and you hope that you get paid. No one will give you back your money if your PPC campaign is wrong. Expect to work for weeks, even months without a profit. It’s basically a Get Rich Slow method. But it works, if you persist, one day your SEO will pop that site in the top 10, traffic will pour in, and little numbers will be written on fancy papers.

PPC campaigns are a way to do it fast, but it takes a lot of money at first, and you can easily burn through your budget in a single day. I do not suggest that for newbies. It took me a long time of experimenting, and a large debt to make it work in the end.

It’s simple actually. Don’t fall for scams, just try it, “Go fucking do it”, as Jon says, learn stuff, and don’t give up. If its not working, drop it and try something else. And finally, don’t follow the herd, it only leads to slaughter.

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written by Glowleaf \\ tags: , , ,